The best advice I was given was given to me when I started in a 12-step group for food addiction. I learned that for every interaction I had with someone who triggered a feeling such as anger, fear, jealousy, sadness, inadequacy, depression, impatience, intolerance, shame there was something inside of me I needed to look at.
I’m not saying that as I looked inside, the difficult feelings went right away. I had to learn to slow down, take baby steps to expose to myself that which I choose to look at within. I’ve had to choose to practice courage to look within when something was being mirrored back to me by someone I have had an interaction with which did not feel that great because I might have been feeling angry as a result of the interaction.
Some situations required me to speak more truthfully, sometimes it was necessary to cultivate compassion for another rather than judge, sometimes I was being shown a mirror of something inside myself I did not like so I could have self-compassion and self-acceptance. Feeling jealousy often showed me a desire I had to achieve or attain something and I know I can start by practicing gratitude for what I have and where I am yet still knowing where I want to be while practicing the art of patience and trust through the process of working toward my goals.
At times, I was shown where I was feeling just plain not enough. That feeling of not enough plagued me often unless I looked at it, allowed the tension caused by fear to dissipate by maybe sharing it with another and reframe that feeling into a positive statement about myself. I have learned that exposing the truth with myself can hurt but as I sink into my heart and show myself compassion it does set me free. It is in my best interest not comparing my insides to what I see in someone’s outside since I know there will always be someone greater and lesser that myself.